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-   -   Am I Rude? (https://www.discusscooking.com/forums/f29/am-i-rude-89101.html)

CatPat 02-25-2014 10:15 PM

Am I Rude?
 
I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!

Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?

Dawgluver 02-25-2014 10:23 PM

Huh? What was rude, Cat? Not sure I understand.

CatPat 02-25-2014 10:24 PM

When I sign my posts like this:

With love,
~Cat


I was told I'm rude.

Dawgluver 02-25-2014 10:25 PM

Not rude here on DC, sign away, Cat!

Katie H 02-25-2014 10:32 PM

I see no rudeness either, Cat. Feel free to continue with your sign off.

FrankZ 02-25-2014 10:35 PM

It is not rude though we do have a rule that requires signatures to utilize the the signature function and not be the same, repetitive text added to posts.

salt and pepper 02-26-2014 12:30 AM

Not to me I love Cats.........

CatPat 02-26-2014 01:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankZ (Post 1347260)
It is not rude though we do have a rule that requires signatures to utilize the the signature function and not be the same, repetitive text added to posts.

Oh I see. My signature is always the same. I understand. I won't do this again, and I apologize.

GotGarlic 02-26-2014 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347285)

Oh I see. My signature is always the same. I understand. I won't do this again, and I apologize.

Cat, I think you misunderstood. You don't have to change your signature periodically. Some people put signature text in the signature function, and then also put it at the end of each post, so it's duplicated. That's what Frank was referring to. You're fine :smile:

Addie 02-26-2014 09:52 AM

Rude? I have seen a lot of ruder words pass on this forum than your signature. Continue the way you were Cat. You have been doing just fine. Evidently someone doesn't get enough love in their life and does't want anyone else to have any. "With love, Cat" is just fine with me. :angel:

CarolPa 02-26-2014 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347248)
I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!

Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?


I think that person was rude to tell you that!

Chief Longwind Of The North 02-26-2014 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarolPa (Post 1347326)
I think that person was rude to tell you that!

I don't know why the world has become less polite. The ending line to all written letters, when I was a child was: Sincerely;

Now, almost no one closes a letter, or email to anyone else with anything other than their name.

Myself, I am sincere in my posts, letters, and emails. The only reason I put - "Seeeeeeeya" as my closing reference is that I have seen that others find "Sincerely:" as outdated, and too formal.

Cat, I find you refreshing, and very polite. You are one of the most considerate people on this site. Thank you for being who you are. Don't change a thing.

Seeeeeeeya; (or, Sincerely;) Chief Longwind of the North

CatPat 02-26-2014 01:55 PM

Oh oh oh I see! Yes, I write very many letters to my family. Although I speak every day to Mamma and much more now to Papa, I still write a letter every week to them. I write to Uncle Nicu and many others, including many of the Catina crew, of course my Gizzi.

When I first joined this website all of you were so very kind to help me, and the "With love, ~Cat" is all for you showing me love and acceptance here.

To my parents and my family, I sign "All my love, Your Cat," to the crew, I sign "Fair winds and much love, Cat."

I only have two friends I write to and for them I sign, "Love and blessings, Cat."

Thank you all for your kindness. I think I did misunderstand. English is a difficult language for me sometimes!

But I like "Sincerely." Mamma says that is proper when addressing unpersonal (is that a word?) correspondence or someone you don't know very well but like very much.

I think the world has indeed become less polite. I think that's why I don't have many friends. Some people of my age seem brash and haughty, as if I owe them something. I don't owe them anything! I do owe my family and friends and the crew and all of you here, and that is why I try to be polite and treat all of you respectfully because you all deserve it and you all treat me very kindly and respectfully, even when some of you have had to fuss at me. Mamma says I'm having "growing pains," where I'm finding out life is full of turns I don't always like!

And I do care for all of you here. Remember how kind Kadesma was to me? When I found out she had passed, I cried. I think we all did, yes?

As long as all of you don't mind, I still like to remind you all that I care for you. Thank you so very much!

With love,
~Cat

Zagut 02-26-2014 02:20 PM

Ms. CatPat,

You are the last person in the world I'd ever think was rude.

If anything I'd think no one could be as sweet as you are.

Whoever fussed about you had there head up a place I shouldn't mention.

Keep being who you are and doing what you do and don't let the naysayers bother you. :wink:

CarolPa 02-26-2014 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347248)
I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!

Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?


Some people post only to criticize and complain. I can think of at least one such poster on this forum.

CatPat 02-26-2014 03:27 PM

Oh but I have complained also! Ha! But thank you both for your kindness. I love this place!

With love,
~Cat

Dawgluver 02-26-2014 03:29 PM

Nothing wrong with complaining, Cat. But some people purposely try to make others miserable or angry on forums. We call them Trolls.

callmaker60 02-26-2014 03:30 PM

I would leave the site.

LPBeier 02-26-2014 03:36 PM

My Dear Cat, please do not change your signature or yourself - I (and DC) love you just the way you are! :flowers:

Dawgluver 02-26-2014 03:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by callmaker60 (Post 1347434)
I would leave the site.

Hopefully, it's just a single incident, and one person's opinion on the other site. If the situation continues, I would hope a mod or other members would step in.

Oldvine 02-26-2014 03:38 PM

No you are not rude. Those making those kinds of accusations are usually the rude ones. You are just fine.

Sir_Loin_of_Beef 02-26-2014 04:07 PM

As the resident expert on rude, I can positively tell you that you couldn't even qualify as an apprentice rude person.

Cooking Goddess 02-26-2014 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347248)
I was fussed at in another place because I sign my posts. I didn't know this was rude!

Is this better? Have I offended anyone here?

Geez Cat, "rude" and you should not be in the same sentence! By saying "..in another place" I'm guessing it wasn't here at DC. At least I hope not. If that person called you out in a thread, I hope a moderator let them know it wasn't their place to correct people in threads. If it was in a personal message, and that person continues to send unwanted PMs, you might want to let the mods in that forum know there is a problem.

You're a sweetie - I don't think you know how to be rude. :wink:

taxlady 02-26-2014 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sir_Loin_of_Beef (Post 1347444)
As the resident expert on rude, I can positively tell you that you couldn't even qualify as an apprentice rude person.

:lol::rofl:

I'm laughing because it's so true.

CatPat 02-26-2014 04:59 PM

Oh no! It was not here! It was in a thread at a political forum where I spoke of a cultural difference. The poster said I was rude to sign my posts, because there is my name and avatar there just like it is here and he said I was arrogant also. Two moderators and the site administrator jumped on him and they gave him infraction points, which isn't good.

It made me think, however. I was worried if any of you thought I was rude or arrogant and so I asked. It's much better to ask rather than to continue to do something which upsets people, yes?

There was probably another problem there. I'm a kind of favorite there and as here, some have taken me within their wings (is this saying right?) like you all have and some people don't like it. I was called a troll and a sock there also, but I stood up for myself.

That place is not like here, where everyone is so kind and helpful and nice. There are some meanies over there, but I've learned to ignore the insults. I've retaliated sometimes with humor. I remind them of from where I came and if they aren't nice, I'll have my friend Vlad visit them. Ha!

But it's a good place to learn of politics and government and all those issues, and to see how people feel about these issues. I have very many reputation points and thanks of my posts, and I'm learning about politics, and I tell them of Romanian politics also, for some have become interested since the uprising in Ukraine.

I'm so glad we don't speak of politics here! I love how everyone here is so kind. My cooking has definitely improved immensely and my friends and family like it. I haven't poisoned anyone yet, and I've never cooked anything at least my dog wouldn't eat.

I'm so happy to be here. I'm very grateful for all of you and for this website.

With love,
~Cat

CatPat 02-26-2014 05:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by taxlady (Post 1347451)
:lol::rofl:

I'm laughing because it's so true.

Wait! I joked about his name, remember? That was pretty rude, but it was funny and he wasn't offended. Ha!

With love,
~Cat

Cooking Goddess 02-26-2014 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347453)
Oh no! It was not here! It was in a thread at a political forum where I spoke of a cultural difference...

There ya go then! I used to participate in a very active sports/politics/everything forum based back in my hometown. Then the sponsor decided to end it, someone else started one to "replace" it, and without real moderators the place went in the dumps really quick. Now there are just a couple people left who go around telling each other how right they are about their views now that they've chased everyone else away from that forum. DC is definitely a kinder and gentler forum. :heart:

CatPat 02-26-2014 06:32 PM

Oh that doesn't sound very nice!

I know I love to be here. This is my treasure to my day.

With love,
~Cat

salt and pepper 02-26-2014 07:24 PM

OK. lets be honest, you are not rude! You are a loving contributor to this forum. We, know who you are and respect your thoughts and cooking. If someone out there thinks or is offensive to you or your posts, well they can go to hell! Please do not delete! With Lov , Joey

salt and pepper 02-26-2014 07:31 PM

PS: Lov you!

CharlieD 02-26-2014 07:44 PM

Cat, you tell that person to come see me. I'll teach them what rude Really means. :wink:

CatPat 02-26-2014 09:30 PM

You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.

I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.

With love,
~Cat

salt and pepper 02-26-2014 09:44 PM

You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!

CatPat 02-26-2014 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by salt and pepper (Post 1347519)
You can call me if you need a ride! Just feed me!

I can do this! These wonderful people here have helped me improve my cooking skills, so I shall certainly not poison you.

With love,
~Cat

CraigC 02-27-2014 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CatPat (Post 1347516)
You all are so nice! I'm glad signing my posts isn't rude here.

I can be rude. I slapped a cab driver once because he touched my butt.

With love,
~Cat

That wasn't rude, the cabbie was the rude one. If you ever visit Rome, stay away from farm restaurants in Tivoli! There is a tendency for the strolling minstrels to pinch women's butts.:ohmy: All in good fun.

CatPat 02-28-2014 10:19 PM

Ha! I have been to Rome, but my butt remained untouched so I didn't have to slap anyone!

With love,
~Cat

taxlady 02-28-2014 10:22 PM

I have hit men for grabbing my crotch - with my purse, with an umbrella, and kicked them wearing wooden shoes. I didn't think I was rude. They were.

purple.alien.giraffe 02-28-2014 11:32 PM

I don't think you are rude or arrogant. You do speak in a rather formal manner (not a lot of slang, few contractions, very proper grammar) and some people might see that as stuffy, stand-offish, or arrogant, but that's a fault of our culture. Unfortunately you find the occasional twit who intentionally speaks in a very formal manner to sound smarter or better than others. And there are girls who will end an argument or snotty comment with a flippant "love you" type remark. With only written words to go on, no voice inflection or body language, people who aren't paying attention could mistake you for one of those types. Even speaking in person some people could get that impression.

However anyone who is paying attention will notice that's not who you are. They'll notice the content of your text (or words) isn't arrogant or rude. They will recognize that English isn't your first language, so it makes sense that it would be stripped of slang and regional speach patterns, that it would be a little text book. They'll notice you're one of the first people to offer encouragment and support to people who are struggling with something, that you offer sympathy and compassion to people who are hurting. They'll notice you offer kind words and a friendly attitude to anyone willing to talk to you.

My recommendation is, if you believe the other person has actually mistaken what you've said as rude or arrogant, appologize and explain. Something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound rude. English isn't my first language so sometimes I sound a little formal," could work well with people who have misunderstood you. You are giving people an opportunity to see that you're actually a really nice person.

Then the person will either accept it or not. If they accept it, you got the chance to broaden someone's view a little and maybe make them think twice before making future accusations of people. You may even make a new friend who one day will laugh and say, "Remember when I was a tool and thought you were rude? I'm glad we got that cleared up." If they don't accept your apology, oh well, you were reasonable (more than really), they weren't, move on and don't let it bother you.

Just remember that you aren't apologizing because you are wrong,you are doing it as a tactic to make others re-evaluate their perception of you. If the person is just being mean, trying to bully you in some way, or just looking for a confrontation, skip this tactic and defend yourself. Those people aren't mistaken, they are trying to bring you down and you have every right to stand up to them.

Also remember there are some people who just want to cause trouble. They are looking to get people riled up and they don't actually care who the other person is. Those are the aformentioned trolls and it's best to ignore them. They're like all other pests, provide a food source and it gives them a reason to come back. You can try to get rid of them yourself but a lot of times it's best to let the exterminators (moderators) deal with them.

Sincerely,
Chief Longwind's daughter (because I'm pretty sure this is longer than his reply to the question)

purple.alien.giraffe 02-28-2014 11:35 PM

Ummm, yeah, now that it's posted, definitely longer.

TL;DR You're not rude, people misunderstand stuff, mean people suck, and you go and be you girl! Or something like that.

GotGarlic 02-28-2014 11:43 PM

p.a.g., lots of good thoughts here. Thanks :smile:


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